Colombiana [ Movie Review ]

The Pitch

After the recent Star Trek, Zoe Saldana career is on the roll. Appearing in popular movies like Avatar and etc. But however, there isn't a movie that rest solely on her shoulder yet.

Enter Luc Besson, Olivier Megaton and rest of the folks from EuropaCorp. Crafting a movie about a female assassin who is seeking revenge for her parents' death for her, Colombiana might just be that movie that showcase whether Zoe Saldana got the ability to carry a movie all by her own.

The Plot

After witnesses her parents death at a drug lord's hands and escaping the drug lord's clutches, Cataleya seek vengeance by deflecting to the American Ambassador with an important computer chip that her father left her. In exchange for the information on the chip, the Ambassador arranged her to be moved to America. Half way through, she escaped once again and made her way to Chicago to look for her Uncle Emilio.

Her Uncle Emilio took her in and wanted to give her a normal life but Cataleya asked her uncle to train her as an assassin. Conveniently her Uncle Emilio had ties with the underworld and years later, Cataleya became a top notch assassin for her Uncle. She started leaving trademarks of cataleya (orchid) on her victims to attract her parents' killer. What she didn't expect was that she was putting her love ones as risk as she seeks vengeance.


The Perspective - Colombiana Movie Review

Colombiana is filled with over the top action sequences and scenarios that were aesthetically nice to look at but emotionally hollow and a little too convenient plotting. This movie utilize Zoe Saladana's body and looks well but didn't give her much room to showcase her acting nor did it give her character more substance so that the viewers could better remember her and this movie after the credits rolled. It's a wasted chance as female actress seldom gets the chance to headline a movie on her own and this blotch up might just had screw her chance of getting another headlining gig in the future.

Let's head back to the movie review and dissect what went wrong for Colombiana. The whole leaving her calling card at the assassinated victims to get to her intended targets was rather pointless as it didn't achieve what it was intended. Conveniently, she got the information by threatening some top management at the FBI and CIA. She could have done without the numerous assassinations to get the information she needed in the first place. It's also baffling that someone with links to the underground groups had no way of getting the information in a safer manner.

Colombiana was not the Nikita and Léon that I hoped for. In fact, it was more akin to the soulless and forgettable action flick Transporter 3 that Olivier Megaton had also directed. There's lots of bing bam boom and Zoe Saladana looked pretty hot but it's a pity that the plot was so flimsily connected together. Instead of wowing with the over the top setups, it made me lookout for plotholes and what could have gone wrong in the elaborate schemes. Colombiana wilted with poor handling and excessive enrichment. It's a pity because it had the potential to blossom into a beautiful work of art.

Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World [ Movie Review ] ★★

The Pitch

How do you bring in the element of smell into a cinematic experience? Robert Rodriguez will be attempting to do that with the latest installment of Spy Kids movies.

A Scratch & Sniff Card that allows the movie goers to smell the different aroma of the movie. Calling it the Aroma-Scope, movie goers will be able to enjoy the "fourth dimension" (hence 4D) of the movie.

It's a gimmicky trick to lure the targeted demographic into the cinemas but since the modern 3D movies are no longer a novelty, it's interesting to see what the Aroma-Scope has to offer. Let's not forget that Robert Rodriguez made Spy Kids 3 in 3D format before the modern 3D craze started. Who knows? Aroma-Scope might just be the next trend in gimmicky movies.


Disclaimer: Robert Rodriguez did not pioneer the use of Scratch & Sniff Card or 3D in a movie but for this reviewer, the usage of this two gimmicks on the Spy Kids franchise were the most memorable ones in movie history.

The Plot

Marissa (Jessica Alba) is a retired secret agent for the OSS (Organization of Super Spies). Her life now revolve around her step kids, a pair of twins named Rebecca and Cecil (Rowan Blanchard and Mason Cook) and her own baby girl. Her husband, Wilbur Wilson (Joel McHale) is a spy hunting reality television program host who is unaware that his wife was a top notch spy.

Their relatively uneventful life took a drastic change when the world is threatened by The Timekeeper and his goons. They speed up the time and soon everyone on Earth is running out of time. Marissa has been recalled back into action by the director of the OSS, Danger D'amo (Jeremy Piven). It turned out that the bad guys are after a red-sapphire necklace that Marissa had just (coincidentally) given it to Rebecca the night before. The Timekeeper are hunting the kids down and surprise surprise, the kids might not be as defenseless as they looked.

The Perspective  

Let's start by reviewing the usage of Aroma-Scope / Scratch n Sniff card as part of a movie watching experience. We were supposed to rub the respective number when prompted by the movie.

It wasn't impressive at all. The audio explanation for the Aroma-Scope could have been done with visual. Folks scratching with coin (which was what I did) might not get the smell the various distinct aroma as compared to those who sniff their thumb after rubbing those number.

Most of the aroma numbers smell like bubble gum and a couple smell like a nasty farty stink. It didn't really enhance the story telling process and served as nothing more than a gimmicky distraction. The aroma numbers didn't evenly spread out in this movie. The first two were evenly spread in the first half of the movie and the next three were squeezed into one scene with only the fifth aroma bearing a rather distinct citrus smell . The sixth aroma smell like cardboard and the seventh aroma gave the most nasty revelation. The very last one didn't make much sense with what going in the movie and smelled like the first two aroma.

I don't think this Aroma-scope would catch on. There are far too many complaints online that indicate it's not working for them. It didn't work that well for me and my movie partner either. All this checking for the right number and rubbing actually take time away from the screen. It's "fun" for novelty act but I wouldn't want to do this again for movie watching.

Aroma-Scope aside, Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World marks the first time that I watched an installment of the Spy Kid franchise (or any of Robert Rodriguez's movies made specifically for kids). While there are kiddish movies that are made for both kids and adult,  Spy Kids 4: All the Time was made strictly for kids and it's a pissed poor "made for television kids channel" quality.

Predictable plotlines and cardboard characters, Spy Kids 4 just dragged on and on. The morale of spending quality time with love ones and the wordplay on time was repeatedly hammered into the audience. It became tiresome and draining. The intended effect to amuse with the puns for time became increasing unfunny as the movie progress. I actually felt sad for kids if this is how kids entertainment are supposed to be these days. 

If there's anything that was remotely entertaining, I would say that Ricky Gervais' a talking robot dog named Argonaut had a few funny lines. But for every funny line, there's a poo / fart gag line up to counter it. It's hard to imagine that the Robert Rodriguez who made movies like Sin City and Planet Terror could come up craps like this. I hope his kids will grow up soon and he would not have the excuse to make this type of movies for his kids anymore.


Worth the 3D price?

It's just as equally weak as the Aroma-scope card. Nothing really stood out in this 3D format. Even when it's a special effect laden scene. There are plenty of moments when one could view this movie without the 3D glasses. That's right, not much 3D in this movie at all.

Wu Xia | 武侠 [ Movie Review ] ★★★★

The Pitch

Director Peter Chan is back with another movie and this time, he attempted to approach Wu Xia films (a broad genre of Chinese fiction concerning the adventures of martial artists) with a new angle. With a touch of forensic science mix with traditional Chinese medicine theory and acupuncture, he team up with Donnie Yen and Takeshi Kaneshiro to present a tale of a reclusive martial artist and his clash with an upright detective.

This film also features two interesting individuals in supporting role. Tang Wei who started her career with Lust, Caution had caught Peter Chan's attention with her performance in Crossing Hennessy. She have been cast as Donnie Yen's wife and it's been said that her performance was so good that the director had extended her role / screen time.

The other individual would be the legendary actor Jimmy Wang Yu who is well known for movies like The One-Armed Swordsman and the Chinese Boxer. A dream project come true for Peter Chan and Donnie Yen as they grew up idolizing his swordman movies.

The Plot

Liu Jinxi (Donnie Yen) with his wife Ah Yu (Tang Wei) and their sons lived a normal life in a remote village.  He appeared to be a ordinary unremarkable paper mill worker until he intervened in a convenience store robbery and killed the robbers.

Detective Xu Baijiu (Takeshi Kaneshiro) is tasked to investigate this case and his detective skills gave him a hunch that there's something more than meets the eyes here. Baijiu's relentless pursuit in uncovering Jinxi's true identity and past opened a can of worms. The head (Jimmy Wang Yu) of the fearsome criminal gang "the 72 Demons" became interested in Jinxi's identity and send his killers to verify Baijiu's investigation. 

Character Poster Set

Treasure Inn | 財神客棧 [ Movie Review] ★★★

Short Takes

Director Wong Jing is back with another China production. Thankfully Treasure Inn was much better than his last theatrical movie Future X-Cops. Even though it's still catered to the China market (i.e blatant  usage of China actors and some obvious hold back in crude humour), Treasure Inn is a film that easy to sit through.

Treasure Inn follows two low ranking constables who were investigating massacre at the city's richest man. Following the trail of the stolen life size white jade of the "Goddess of Mercy", they encountered a pair of twin sisters known as the "Reward Money Hunters". Pooling their resources together for the reward money for recovering the white jade, they head towards the infamous Treasure Inn where all the precious stolen goods get auction there. 

The spoofs on Tsui Hark's upcoming 3D The Flying Swords of Dragon Gate (or the 90s version of New Dragon Gate Inn) and Stephen Chow's Kungfu Hustle were pretty obvious. Although these spoofs were not very inventive, they were still entertaining to spot. These spoofs and the comedic elements in this was a mixed bag. Some where laugh out funny and some just totally missed the spot.

Nicholas Tse who is currently dodging the media for the latest news on his marriage breakup was pretty effective as a eye candy. Compare to his recent movies, there nothing here to stretch his acting range and to some, that's a good thing. Bland but pleasant.

Likewise for Charlene Choi as the irritating Water Dragon Girl who is smitten by Nicholas Tse's character and is constantly worried that he would abandon her for the lady owner of the Treasure Inn. I wonder how long can she keep up in such fluffy flower vase roles.

Nick Cheung stole the show with funny one liners and comedic showmanship. He hasn't been this funny for a long time. Partly due to his choice in making serious movie these recent years. Or perhaps it's the partnership with  Wong Jing that Nick Cheung was so funny in this one. If their collaboration could result in such consistent standard, Nick Cheung should forget the dramatic roles that gives him film awards nomination and crave out a career that cement on comedy. 

Bottom line for Treasure Inn is that while it's not that good that you have to shell out movie ticket money to catch it in the cinema, it's won't be that bad if you did it anyway.

The Man From Nowhere | 아저씨 [ Movie Review ] ★★★★

The Pitch

The Man from Nowhere was the Top Korean Film of the 2010 Korean Box Office. That information alone should perk some interest and curiosity for this movie. It's also headlined by Won Bin, one of the top artist in Korea with his huge fans base. But it's unlikely that the fans could push a film into the top spot. There must be something good in the movie that garnered so many viewings from non fans or business from repeated viewings.

The Plot

Cha Tae-sik (Won Bin) leads a quiet life a pawnbroker in a neighborhood pawn shop. A little girl So-Mi (Kim Sae-ron) kept pestering him and became his companion (irregardless whether he wants it or not). Troubles started knocking on their doors when thugs wanted to recover some drugs that So-Mi's mom had stolen and she kept it in a camera bag that she had pawned to Tae-sik.

What they didn't realized was that Tae-sik is not your ordinary pawnbroker and he is not a man to trifle with.

After a tense standoff, the thugs managed to leave with the drugs and So-Mi. In order to rescue them, he agreed to run an errand for them and ended up getting double crossed by the thugs. The police arrived at the exchange location and apprehended him. They were surprised to discover So-Mi's mom dead body in the trunk of his car. To make matters worse, the internal organs are missing and that would mean that these thugs are not simply trafficking drugs.

Time is ticking by and Tae-sik is forced to go all out to rescue little So-Mi before she suffers the same fate as her mom. It's not only the bad guys, Tae-sik had to content with the police force who are investigating this case.

The Perspective

The introduction arc of The Man from Nowhere felt like it's a remake of Léon (The Professional). It's awfully similar to how the young girl bonded with the quiet neighbor and the parents who are involved with drugs. I was half expecting the little girl asking for her neighbor to coach her in the ways of assassins. But then again, it's not a remake of Léon. Almost half way through, it became a movie about drug / human organs trafficking and one man's mission to rescue his young friend. He did it in a very brutally effective way and the movie took a turn for Liam Neeson's Taken.

But nevertheless, the movie has a solid run with it's rendition of those familiar elements and could stand on it's own without being label as a knockoff. It's largely based on the performance and how the story was told.

First of all, there are pretty memorable villains in this movie. The two leaders are wildly wicked and bestially cruel. Their right hand man is a cool hitman with a strong sense of ethics. The things they do to the kids are so repulsive that it makes their gory comeuppance a joy to sit through. They might be  stereotypical but they were effective here in defining the hero's struggle.

The story also had a great pace and flow. Keeping various turn of events coming a brisk pace that it will keep one on the edge of the chair. From the revelation of Tae-sik's background to the true nature of the thugs' trafficking, it just hooks you and never let go till the end credits.

Then there's the little girl's performance as So-Mi. Kim Sae-ron exude a sense of adorableness without being too annoying. There a sense of worldliness and innocence to her that makes her her a great supporting act. Given her young age, Kim Sae-ron is definitely someone to watch out for in the future. 

Last but not least, this is a Won Bin movie and he got screen charisma in spades. From the hard hitting unflinching man on a mission to one dealing with lost cause, it's easy to see why he had such a huge fan base.

The Koreans are also know for their hard hitting take on vengeance movies and they are constantly pushing edge of morality. With the right cast, performance and direction, the movie will grip hold of the audience long after the credits are over. The Man from Nowhere is one of those movies that balance violence and emotion well. One of the finest Korean movies in recent years and definitely worthy of it's placing in the 2010 Korean Box Office.


Beyond the Movie

The Korean title for this movie Ajussi means Uncle.